this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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