I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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