Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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