first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
