honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm having to shit out rocks
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