She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
