You don't have asthma, your pregnant
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
