I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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