apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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