I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
