these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
