don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
