I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
