I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
...so i touched it.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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