apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
