This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
