and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
