This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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