i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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