I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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