apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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