so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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