How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
