I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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