The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
