in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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