i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
