We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
