i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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