stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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