I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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