her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize