The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
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