Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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