I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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