Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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