Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
