I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
