I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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