I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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