its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
