this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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