My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
