I cut my penus on the lid.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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