dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
