There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
