Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
