there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
