i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
