Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
