remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.