You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
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He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
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fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk