is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...