we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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