It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
