I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
