This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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