This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
