theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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