nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
