Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize